Shaivite Thought Destruction

[Brendan]

I "borrowed" the meditative practice of destroying each thought as it arises.
Got it from Shaivism, and I seem to remember that I started practicing it in daily life after exploring Zeena Shreck's homepage.
By the way, I found that page, albeit frightening as Hell, endlessly practical.
It kindled my interest in Tantra.
But back to the application of the technique.
I found it useful, when I noticed invasive thoughts creeping in around my concentration, to strongly visualize them as destroyed by fire.
I once had a scholarly Zazen practice.
During a family tragedy, that placid practice just about fell apart--felt like a Minotaur attacked me every time I sat.
So, I began to defend against these (probably imaginary) attacks by destroying them with fire.
Then I figured I might as well apply that to smaller, less aggressive distracting thoughts.
Eventually the thoughts organized themselves into the faces of people.
When the thought arose, I had a felt sense of the man or woman's face inside mine.
Soon after that, when distraction entered, it gave the sensation of a person stepping into my body from behind.
Pleasant persons enter gently and briefly; the personalities of authority enter by force and overstay their welcome.
I regard this as the result of amplified, anthropomorphic "clumping:" the ability of the brain to group together similar ideas into a representative whole.
Over time, this practice, empowered through mantra, invocation, GPR and various, has brought about a total paradigm shift.
I have stabilized the trance, for the most part; although caffeine and war music, e.g., punk and death metal, tend to throw off the equilibrium, I appear to have found firm ground.
The new paradigm appears to have the characteristics of: interconnectedness with all people, but an almost telepathic connection to those proximal to the Chaote; a Guide (Guardian?) who seems to have the chart and the course, but doesn't reveal much; my SO, whose person suggests a created entity in many ways; and an open door to what I can only call the Astral Plane.
I also feel painfully transparent, as if private thought has no meaning.
As far as the Archons go, the Police seem to have the beginning of understanding this.
The government, however, evidently remains porous to influences launched from this direction.
The change appears to have stuck; either that, or my usual practices inevitably create it?
I see a lot of potential for Red magick in this position.

[henbane intl.]

Interesting experience, especially the transparency of one's private thought. I have also found this practicing 'shi'ne' (she-nay) from Dzogchen tradition. Shi'ne means "finding prescence of awareness in the absence of thought" or more literally, "calm abiding".  It is really familarizing of oneself to emptiness. Through this practice, I have found that the foundation of what I 'think' I am is transparent -This leads one to an understanding that all one's delusion is really one's own creation. Rather than some imposition from a seemingly outside 'other'. It is the begining of an experiential understanding of non-duality.