Merkaba Rite

[zach]

I guess this goes here... sort of a invocation/evocation/illumination

Starting to feel what previously was only intellectually understood, but abstract.

1) prepared for the work- I was more focused during this part than ever before keeping concentration on things merkaba. I decided my statement of intent was “to invoke the current of the chariot in order to gain a fresh degree of self knowledge.” (funny thing is that I forgot to state this formally during working…) I set up my make shift altar with a drawing I did of chariotness, the Crowley thoth chariot card, a red and blue candel and my pipe full of marijuana.  I wore a pair of comfortable “warm up” pants and a pentagram of Solomon necklace.

2) I did the Regardie/Hyatt neck/shoulder, flop at the waist, face exercises.

3) Performed the LBRP banishing. Stood in silence as the babe in the blue egg.

4) Sat in lotus position and listened to a tape of me reciting quotes and ideas about merkaba from Book of Thoth. During this section (lasting 15 min.) I came across a quote that struck me (intuitively) as extremely important. It goes, “those who know us limit us.” (If anyone knows who coined this phrase I would love to know) So as not to distract me from the rest of the taped mesdsage I decided to remember this quote and focus on it after the tape was over.

5) Once the tape was over I remembered the phrase and jumbled it into a mantra. It was, “DASUNOWAZ LIMEETAZ.”  a while into this I began to get distracted by bodily pain so I recited it 10 times with as much focus as possible.

6) Ended the work with the LBRP w/ babe in blue egg meditation. Cleaned up and put all my tools away.

I thought I was done but the real cool stuff came in the hours to follow…

Even though this ritual felt clumsy and remedial, I was starting to feel what was previously intellectually understood but abstract and alien. As I began to record the ritual in my notebook I noticed ideas come in the form of what feels right to call wisdom. It also felt right to label my state as feeling as though forces were guiding me.  I tried to listen to them as much as possible but my conscious self sabotaged my writing. so, I decided to take some advice from Crowley as rest in simplicity and listen to the silence. this was easier sadi than done. however, what broke through the silence was amazing and could be analyzed as visions linking to the net of connection jewels that permeates the universe.  This was nice. Mainly because in the last year my attempts at concentration and gnosis have been morbidly sabotaged by repulsive fantasies that frustrate the hell out of me, and now I was in an altered state of consciousness and those thoughts were far from awareness. I was feeling so charged with this “rediscovered” energy and power that I had to use it somehow.  I then improved a mini-ritual based on the G. Dawn signs of enterer and silence. I decided to try and destroy the outer crust of a frustration “demon” and integrate its pure form (a small flame) into my selves. This was cool because rather than this “demon” taking me over I had to work pretty hard to “conjure” it and the body tension it brings. So I pushed this thing out of me into a imagined triangle before me. I felt the energy build in my belly, as I lifted my fists to my temples I guided the energy up to my ajna chakra and when my arms thrust outward so did this subtle substance of power. I saw the dark green glob of dirt explode leaving only a small flame (I also hit my hand against a wall and became distracted). I did what I could to retain focus and guided this pretty little flame back into my belly and rested in the sign of silence.

I didn’t feel like writing all this down and I was late for an appointment.  on my way to the appointment I figured I should run the whole thing over in my head a few times so I could write it up for all of your criticism and encouragement. while doing this I kept having a hard time remembering the mantra, but every time I tried Id have a vision of a pearly white crystal type jewel in front of me during the ritual (I don’t remember seeing this in the ritual I only see it with me when trying to remember the mantra… or name). I then get a flash of insight telling me that that might be a semi independent being NAMED Dasunowaz Limitaz. Then as i approached my destination an idea hit me, "those who know us limit us, self knowledge is the key to being limitless, knowing thy limitless selves prevents you from perceiving that those who know you limit you..."

WOW that’s hard to get down… I know its probably inaccurate but it feels honest to say…

any critique, questions, help, or alternative explanations would be appreciated….

excuse my sloppy ritual but i really should be keeping focused on liber mmm in liber null, but how can i help experimenting?

[zach]

further exploration...

1) prepared by setting up my work space while listening to "jesu joy of mans desire" on the "celtic woman" dvd concert... built altar with my chariot drawing (super sigil)...... red and blue candels, thoth chariot card and marijuana... wore warm up nike pants, solomon necklace and ring used for wisdom... did the regardie/hyatt neck/shoulder/flop at waiste/face exercises... kept focus on merkaba...

2) LBRP and babe in "orphic" egg...

3) (actually remembered) Statement o' Intent "it is my will to invoke Merkaba for fresh self knowledge". (this could have been more confident) Listened to tape of quotes from Book of Thoth etc... few distraction that seemed ritual related at least...

4) attempted to treat Dasunowaz Limeetaz as entity and evoked it by chantin its name as mantra... when it felt right to stop chanting i brought up the visual (that had "showed itself to me" in the first working) of it... sort of a pearly octahedron with rounded edges... so i started to try and talk to it about limitations and how others and i limit "me"... this was rocky at best... talk about limitations... i gathered my wits and firmly asked it to give me an example of a time from my adolecence that that illustrated my ability to limit my sexual expression... it showed me a time i rarely reflect on on gave me many insightful realizations for futher work... needless to say this was a little exhausting emotionally... my attention kept drifting... so i told him i was done... thanked him and asked if he required an offering... he said "only your undivided attention"... i sent him away and tried to relax...

5) LBRP like before w/ babe in egg...
 
afterthought: im now realizing the difference between "vicarious fantasy or inner landscape gardening or organizing (but not experiencing) a state of subjective synthesis the becomes the foundation for will and perception" and "unexpected but honest emotions and visuals that reflect the kind of thing my favorite authors (Carroll, Hine, Wilson, McKenna, alot of you on this forum) seem like they try and convey through symbols..." 

im also getting to know two little parts of us (me and my multiple selves and maybe even the pool of humanity) i call the Censor (psychic) and the Sabotuer... I've been trying to write a little story or comic called "the monad vs. the fascist and the job of the censor and sabotuer" and this experience as given me some nice ideas...

[Ziyad K]

Hi Zach
Sounds like an interesting experiment with a wothy intent.
Regarding the statement “those who know us limit us.” I remember reading of the importance of traveling to get away from people close to us, who limit us, maybe Phil Hine said it, not sure. Those who know us often expect us to act a certain way, I've found, which can be a challenge to move out of. This idea facinates me. On the one hand Crowley recommended once, to move away from family for this reason in large part. On the other hand some of the tibetan masters have stayed with family, friends and got on fine, though it's considered a little harder.
Anyway, I have one comment regarding one thing you wrote, that the entity said.

"only your undivided attention"

Seems reasonable. Do you think it meant simply for the duration of the ritual or that it wanted you to pay undivided attention to it to the exclusion of other things? I'm getting at obsession here. I've found in the past (pretty recently to) that some entities want me to give them to much attention, which will obviously not do. Depend how you feel in the end of course. Anyway just a thought.
cheers

[zach]

thanks for the comments... i try to keep myself keenly aware of the obsession warning... i think that it more came from "OUR" (i and thou or it) frustration at becoming distracted... like it wanted to tell me shit and i wasnt listening... it was funny cause i use to hate when teachers said that to me when i was a kid, and it was showing me things about my adolecence... i did another last night that i will post and then i think i will try more Liber MMM for a while...

it would not suprise me if it was phil hine... ive read "condensed chaos" three times and "prime chaos" twice (not to mention his stuff online...)...

i think that my recent trip to europe was an action based on this idea... didnt do much, just needed to get away... i think that in the future after i get to know myselves better ill be o.k. with being with family and freinds... as of right now, being riddled with frustration, i want to tell them all to fuck off...

[fellandrino potato]

going cold turkey on the family is the best way to grow up,imo.  all the mates i have who are still in their home town are having trouble moveing on, in other words, they're still the same people they were at 15-20 years old, when the 4th circuit seems to solidify.   

[Isis]

Those who know us limit us......

Yes. What they call imagecasting. You could say an astral environment created by the other.
Remember how the dog and owner often have a look a like?
We subconsciously influence each other as well as  consciously.
Also our own selfimage can have the same limiting effect.

Those who know us, empower us. That can also be true.
I have always felt empowered by people of whom I had the feeling that they REALLY knew me. But not a knowing as in labeling.

The advice to move away from family and friends is often given, but one could relativate that a bit. It may all depend on the family and friends you have got and your age as well.
Maybe when one feels suffocated, it is time to move away from any relationship.
 
For the rest, great breaktrough Zach.
A more centered piece of art as well. 
Didn't see a sloppy ritual, just a creative adjusting way of working.
You transmitted the jolt of release very well. It could be felt. Made me really happy for you. 
 
Small remark, if you start the work, the arising of frustrating stuff is the usual procedure.
Even now after 20 years, I have periods in which only shit comes up.
Either mine or collective, which again is also mine. 
It just parts quicker and quicker.

[zach]

THANKS ISIS, your advice and comments are always enlightening and much appreciated... have been experiencing many jolts of energy release that are making me pretty happy also... after the chariot(A.C.'s thoth cancer) i moved onto Lust(A.C.'s leo) and now im the hermit(trying to get some zodiacal astrology under my belt) and my social/sexual self is feeling more at home wherever "it" is.... sometimes...